Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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