we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
