what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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