I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
