i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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