i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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