READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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