He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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