I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
