Already got asked if we're dating
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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