this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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