big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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