But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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