Someone shit on the floor
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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