just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
one might say we're banned from that church
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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