I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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