Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
