actually, I'm a sock model
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
