You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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