At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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