White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
