it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're a waste of cheezeits
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
