You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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