Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
