It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
