Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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