We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
