I'm going to jail i love you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
