i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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