Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
