I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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