get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
