It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize