I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
