low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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