I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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