1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
