I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
its liver damage thursday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
