you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
