forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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