she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
