Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
