Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
