I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
