so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
