PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
