What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
