I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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