Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What changed your mind?
Being sober
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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