mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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