she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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