By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
