i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
