i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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