btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
