i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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