are you still at the devil's house?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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