She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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