Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
