just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize