Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
