I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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