they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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