I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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