I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize