normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
