She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
