I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
