You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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