Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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