dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
