Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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